The In Between…

Most people showcase the end result of their hard work and dedication. Some detail their humble beginnings and how it paved the way to their today. Rarely does someone talk about the in between. Honestly, I don’t blame them.

The days start blurring into each other. Most of them looking exactly the same. Success is usually reached through repetitive actions and those actions can get boring. I’m bored right now as I’m writing this. I’ve gotten into somewhat of a routine, I’m still refining it, yet I’m already experiencing this feeling of a lackluster life.

The goal is to not have a lackluster life, but sometimes that’s the chapter or chapters you’re in. It doesn’t feel like it, but I know deep down that they are just as important as the gritty beginning chapters and the phenomenal ending chapter I’m working towards.

Life is a series of choices. I trust that choosing the same ones that I know will grow me, stretch me and move me will get me to my next best chapter.

Listen to Your Body

The environments you are in, the relationships you hold, all effect you in real ways. Being in an unhealthy environment professionally and/or personally can literally be the difference between life or death.

Our bodies are always speaking to us and when we don’t listen the voice only gets louder. I have been sick more often this year. Personally, I have been stepping back a lot to give myself the time I need to be healthy, holistically. Professionally my workload kept piling up with new assignments in addition to my regular workload.

The work environment overall isn’t a healthy one. This year my body has been shouting this reality at me.

I don’t know what is going to happen, but I know that my health needs to come first.

To Thine Own Self Be True – Shakespeare

I am deepening my understanding of what this quote means. I often ask myself, “What does it mean to be true to yourself?”

At work I’m learning it means to be direct even when others are passive aggressive.

In my personal life I’m learning it means to limit myself in how much time and effort I pour into others to make sure I have enough for me.

At every turn there seems to be a challenge to either to abandon yourself or to choose yourself.

Often times we assume that choosing yourself automatically means you abandoned someone else. In actuality, choosing yourself then gives them an opportunity to choose either to abandon themself or choose themself. This will allow for them to grow in this area as well. I also noticed that when I choose myself everything ends up working out.

There may be others who are used to having you step in when they should step up. To them this may feel like rejection or them being wronged. Either way it’s not your problem.

When I look back on my life I want to be proud of the decisions I made and not regret all of the decisions I let others make for me.

What Am I Doing?

In a world that loves to show you only the highlights and none of the tough times leading up to the highlights, it is hard to admit that you actually don’t know what you’re doing. I thought at this chapter of my life I would have it all figured out. Wrong.

I’m starting to adopt the theory that maybe I will never have it all figured out and maybe this is not life’s purpose. Maybe, just maybe, life is simply a learning experience. A series of discoveries, trials, errors and successes.

Are Women Becoming More Like Men?

In today’s society we are seeing women take ahold of their destiny in multiple ways; career wise, relationship wise, fashion wise and so much more! This new found, and yes I mean NEW, sense of self-security is leaving many men feeling as though women are now taking on their roles.

It was not that long ago that women were required to be accompanied by their spouses to doctor appointments. Voting rights were granted a little over 100 years ago. There are women alive today who were born around that era. Men were automatically given custody of children in divorces. Women were not allowed to wear pants. Girls as young as 12 years old were married off in the United States. You might not have even started puberty by the time you were married.

In short women were were stuck on the patriarchal rollercoaster with no way to get off till The Women’s Rights Movement began to push back.

Today we are still having to push back when it comes to us women owning every aspect of our lives. I see the constant disapproval from men on social media in comments beneath posts of women or posts relating to women. I see comments from men telling women to go back to the kitchen, to lower their standards, that their achievements don’t mean a thing to men and so many more disparaging and disgusting statements.

Basically men are STILL telling women that the way men view them should be the only thing they consider when making ANY life choice.

I say women are not becoming men. I think we are becoming more of ourselves.

Recently we have been focusing more on gender and how gender relates to sex. We now know that gender, whether feminine or masculine, does not directly correlate with sex, female or male.

In my experiences, with gender being the topic, I am often told that I am masculine. People say that I carry myself like a male. What’s hilarious is the reasons why I’m told I am like a male.

I am naturally a leader. When I take leadership roles they say I’m masculine/male-like. Really, I just feel like I have good interpersonal, problem-solving and organizational skills. I once was told that I sound like a guy because I said I didn’t want to settle down till my career was where I wanted it to be. I guess me prioritizing my personal growth and achievements more so than getting married means I’m more like a guy? I just thought it was a smart move. I wanted to make sure I was where I wanted to be in life before sharing it with someone else.

Women have more space to be themselves than ever before! This is not us becoming men, this is us exploring and enjoying the fullness of who we are. Yes, that does mean that men are becoming less of a priority and I think that’s really the concern behind men saying that women are becoming more like men.

We are no longer waiting to be chosen. We choose ourselves. We are finding ourselves. We are going after goals. We are starting businesses. We are getting degrees. We are traveling the world. We’re busier these days and sometimes that leaves less room for men.

Us being comfortable with not having men in our lives I think really upsets them. (I am laughing as I type this) It’s like watching a toddler throw a tantrum because they are no longer getting their way.

Men used to cheat on our grandmothers and great grandmothers and they stayed because working options were not great. Many jobs back then did not employ women and if they did they didn’t pay women enough to support themselves independently. Due to the lack of options marriage was like life insurance. A sure way to survive. Now that we can survive on our own and men no longer have the control that they once did.

We are not becoming men. We are becoming equals… and that bothers men who seek to control their women partners.

Men accept the fact that you’re no longer in control. There’s so many benefits to having a woman who is not controlled by you. I mean if you’re looking for true partnership, intimacy and love then an independent woman is where it’s at. She’s not with you to live off of you. She’s with you because she loves you. It’s all about you and not about what she can get from you monetarily.

Now if you don’t have much to offer, which I feel like is the case for most of these men making disparaging comments, then I get. Still not ok, but I get it. You rather women to be so focused on getting a man that they settle for you because God forbid you have to meet standards.

Women continue to focus on you. Live and your truth and wait on someone who you can be your full self with because you will never be able to live life fully unless they accept you fully.

Peace and love,

Cam